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 Kade Hiroshima [WIP]

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Posts : 15
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Join date : 2013-09-26
Location : New York City, NY

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PostSubject: Kade Hiroshima [WIP]   Thu Sep 26, 2013 3:31 pm

Have you see the OVA or read the manga series of Hellsing?  If so how far have you gotten?  If not please direct your attention to YouTube, and watch OVA 1-4 at least.  Warning: If you have watched the anime we require you watch the OVA, or read the manga.  The anime is not canon.  This is not our opinion.  This is the law set down by the creator of Hellsing, Kouta Hirano.

I've seen it...

Name: Kade Hiroshima

Age: 23

Gender: Male

Physical appearance: Before he's once had thin red irises, and short black hair that was cut with his bangs sloped down the left side of his face. Though his hair remains in a fairly consistent style throughout his adulthood, there are a few minor changes. As a teen, his hair was hanging down all around his head. Then as an Adult, his bangs are somewhat parted and in his prime, his hair is parted with his bangs in front of his right eye. Kade may have good physical body but still but the cancer did some damage. But the effects of cancer still linger leaving 1/4 of his face completely disfigure the cancer has completely burned part of his face leaving long black jagged scars of his face. Deadly Burns on the head, face, and neck after a junkie put sulfur acid on his face. Combined with the treated cancer started burning his face which the the pain was unbelievable of it all. It really did a number to his face structure and some parts of his body. His facial recognition is completely gone leaving him being an quiet figure mostly like a freak then that of what he used to be.

Clothing of choice: This is pretty much is silent evasion/dark hero attire so nobody not even human, vampire, werewolf or cyborg can even discover or detect him. This attire is used to fight crime or exile himself from the world for good until he decides to return and face the world once more. His loner attire consist of a leather vest white is black, baggy-style pants are in a dark gray with black pin stripe and the light wool sweater is a brownish. Kade actually created a flat black costume in order to keep himself hidden from people or any supernatural assholes. To keep his face completely hidden wear a stitch mask with U.S. Issued 1930 goggles with some mirror tint on the lenses. Because of what happen to him, he never show his face to anybody fearing the things they'll say about him. Truthfully, Nobody has seen his face which he finds a goof relief. So the mask won't come off

Weaponry of choice:

Modified Colt Pythons

Beretta 3032 Tomcat

Dragunov X Sniper Rifle

Devil Shuriken

Blackmamba Blade

Race: Special Human

Abilities: Kade's regular abilities are as followed:
Humans who have gained powers through supernatural means to turn into this state. Often through genetic experimentation or some freak accident, even hereditary genes passed down. These humans are hailed as special due to the unique aspects that dubs them as supernatural, yet they are still human.
Traits: Depending on what abilities they possess, it is often that these brands of humans are more fit than the regular ones, even able to go up on par with a vampire, albeit the weaker sorts.

Marksmenship & Accuracy: From his training, Kade is able to focus on a target drowning any type of distraction from his mind. Only focusing on the target when holding up his gun having it drawn directly at the enemy. Another thing is using his weapon deciding on what body part he going to chop off with his weapon. He's isn't an expert like his instructor yet the new hunter has good/great accuracy when using short or long range weapons.

Agility Reflexes: From training exercises, Kade has almost the natural peak skills of human acrobat. He able to use his jumping, flipping and leaping skills in combat or in a deadly situation. Perhaps with his agility, Kade maybe able to dodge some attacks coming his way in the nick of time. He still maybe a adept learner but he trained his body to be a good athlete using balance and bodly coordination with his agility.

Skilled Combatant: Throughout his life his been using his fists and full contact punches/kicks to get the upper hand on vampires or enemies. Through his training with Corbin, Kade started learning different styles of using his hand to deal with people. He has good boxing & Jiu jitsu styles which took months every art of hand to hand combat in offense techniques and defense techniques. Kade can sufficiently block and attack others and is hard to actively lay a hand on unless he allows it. Kade's combat skill is such that he knows every pressure point and nerve strike, which have allowed him to cause severe pain, as well as temporary paralysis.. His martial arts expertise has allowed him to utilize techniques can hurt or break a person.

Supernatural Based Ammo Creation: Corbin actually trained Kade into making specialized bullets can take down beings like werewolves and vampires. It took a year for Kade to master the skill to creates bullets designed into hurting even killing vampires and werewolves. It takes Kade a post[1 post] to reload his weapon with the specialized bullet to wound or takedown the designated target.
- Silver Nitrate Bullets: These are the latest incarnation of the standard silver-plated bullets used to kill or wound Lycanthropes. When shot, a silver solution is excreted from the round directly into the bloodstream of the victim, clogging it with poison. Lycanthropes may find it hard to dig out these new silver nitrate bullets as they do with ordinary silver bullets.
- UV Regulator Bullets: This is a type of bullet used by vamp hunters to greatly weaken Vampires. Any of these bullets shot into a vampire the can start emitting UV radiation. They are hollow bullets filled with a special irradiated fluid that emits ultraviolet light. Corbin created these bullets to be an advanced tracer-round technology developed that was going to use by a human military.

Organization: Unaffiliated

Personality: Silent and Quiet would be the only two things that best describe him because nobody has heard the man speak in a long time. He doesn't feel pity, remorse or fear but truthfully the fallen human does have a code of honor in protecting people. Sometimes he'll listen to reason but then walk away in regret. Kade has a great desire to be the best on his own thinking the path of nothingness is his way of life. He doesn't care much about the past or much of the present either only just how to survive in the real world. He never had a close friend or someone to talk to help him with the emotional and deep emptiness with his life. Even though he's serious and quiet at times, Kade does have a caring attitude despite his anti socialness, he doesn't think himself as a tool but as a human being. Hopefully around his new friends maybe he can act like a human being then he was created to do. In short, Kade had something of an half breed law abiding attitude but deep down the soul within him cares about his family and friends hoping to bring out some compassion towards a new life. Duet o his appearance and for what has happen his friends still have a tough time fixing the damage dent to his heart. Really he start to have nightmares and he'll go back to his anti social persona.

Kade still refuses to talk to get help in deadly or helpful situations which is why he wears a mask.

Like before, Kade a quiet man that seeks isolation from the world really nobody knows what wrong with him in the inside of his mind. He might help people in times of need but after the job is done he'll disappear within the darkness and that person will never see him again.

Rank: Special Human

Biography: Born in Scotland, England under the name Keith Hajime from St. Anna Laurel Hospital. Keith Hajime's mother had died giving birth to her son but the child had a rare form of cancer in which the doctors have never seen before. Keith's father was told about the Stage 4 cancer the only way to counter the cancer before the child dies. He agreed and the immunization injection was giving and it saved young Keith's life. But sooner or later his father will have to tell Keith the full effect of what the injection was. Keith's face was a little disfigure and deformed yet at times his father didn't even look at him. At a young age, Keith started to experience a strong feeling of great rejection similar to that between a father and son. But throughout his childhood Keith grew up to be an intelligent kid but at times his mental un-stability started making a major turning point. Keith's father wonder what the side effects of the immunization would have on the kid knowing his cancer was subsided for now.

Throughout the ending of his childhood,Keith loved reading things to understand there meaning then finally he started reading diseases. He came home to find his father crying knowing about his mother dying at birth but the child knew something else was wrong Finally his father told him the god awful truth about what happen to him seeing that his father was stricken with grief. Keith still cared about his father knowing that whatever decision was made it ultimately saved his life, Keith lived what that decision. With behind him growing up, Keith managed to finish both kindergarten then grade school and moving onto high school. People still calling him little but sometimes it had it advantages yet during that high school it led to some advantages that were kind of dangerous. After graduation someone or something smacked him the worst thing was he could actually see it, was this some high school prank??? Because this wasn't funny he tried to attack it but the furry monster punched him hard and then looked at him getting ready to eat. The monster looked at him thinking he was too short and then flew off, Keith though this was weird and what the hell just happen but Keith's father wanted no part of this fearing the worst. He sent Keith to one the place which the Scottish community recommended which was London, England which Keith thought this would be the first time going on a trip. He said his goodbyes to all his friends even Jesenia which she didn't like the fact that he was leaving his hometown because of one strange event. The airplane ride was kind of cool seeing that he was riding in first class which people treating you to meals, drinks, dessert being comfortable and a movie. Maybe this better living wasn't going to be at that bad, Keith left the airport after his plane landed hoping to discover the better things in life but it only lead to more trouble that weird monster was terrorizing people on a airport.

But he was no hero until he saw Jesenia on another plane he was wondering if she followed him. It gave Keith enough reason to help the people escape from the monster telling people to run away to safety. The worse happen were those monsters started laughing and set Jesenia's aircraft on fire then the human started crying when the plane exploded. It felt like his heart actually shattered into a million pieces watching his friends die from those monsters those...vampires. He decided enough was enough, Keith would dedicate his damn life to destroying all supernatural beings but the guy will help. After finding an apartment, Keith decided to find someone to help him gaining the services of a vampire hunter named Michael Corbin a hunter who likes killing vampires and supernatural beings.

For 5 years, Michael Corbin started training Keith into become a hunter after some vampire missions the student was ready. Michael taught Keith everything he knew to help him exact revenge on the vampires that took his best friend away from him. Keith decided to change his name into Kade Hiroshima and created a costume for himself to keep his identity hidden as well.

RP sample:

Last edited by Kade Hiroshima on Sun Sep 29, 2013 2:02 am; edited 14 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Kade Hiroshima [WIP]   Sat Sep 28, 2013 4:42 pm

Eric Zarathos wrote:
Name: Eric Lucien Zarathos
"Mate of Lilith" Zarathos, or...?

Marvel wrote:
Age: 27 yrs old

Gender: Male

More stuff wrote:
Physical appearance: Eric has something of a lean but strong muscular build to his body of his strong training regiment, he looks Half American/Half Caucasian. He has some black and dark red tribal/sacred tattoos on his body and on the right side of his face. He has blue eyes and black hair yet some of it is braided in a certain style. His werewolf fangs are white with can be retracted and extended whenever the lycan wants to. The Lycan warrior weighs in at 203lbs pounds and having a height of 6'2"almost the same of a normal human.  Eric had thin facial hair around his mouth and on his cheeks which the lycan shaves and now his strong facial hair on and around his chin. The lycan once had burned scars on his upper body that stayed with him for a long damn time but after his healing powers finally kicked in.
What does "Half American/Half Caucasian" mean? Teeth don't work like that, either. Your teeth turn into fangs when you're a wolf, but otherwise, you're pretty much normal. Scars don't heal, either. All vampires have bite marks, Anderson and Heinkel have their damage, and you'll have your burns.

Even more stuff wrote:
Eric's Tattoos are tribal ones representing abstract shapes and animal based. The artist who imprinted them on his body said these tattoos were sacred of his lycan heritage and that certain lycans get the tattoos. These tribal tattoos are known as a code of honor or of an tribe of lycans.

Werewolves can't get tattoos. The ink would be rejected and the needle points would heal over. This is pretending a standard tattoo artist's tool could pierce their extremely hard skin. Also, you're just making things up here. I'd possibly accept this if you went to the trouble of researching a particular culture's Lycans and explaining why this would be, but I'm not taking this at face value. I also don't like the talk of "Lycan heritage".

MORE stuff wrote:
Clothing of choice: Like every known American, Eric is known to wear traditionally white underwear, V-neck white T-shirt and white socks yet their the Hanes brand.
I don't know what Americans you're talking about, but I wear none of this.

Hanes? No one wears briefs past 10, unless they're a meth cook wrote:
The Lycan has something of punk Goth-Rock star style when it comes to his clothing, he sometimes wears American based or Russian based clothing. Eric's style of pants are jeans the guy likes wearing dark blue jeans of the gothic kind with style studded beat. The jeans are of Levis and their baggy. He had a platinum gothic emo chain with the jeans it light gold based the original one was silver so he threw it out. Eric Zarathos's most obvious design trait is his affinity for red-colored apparel, in the form of a long, two-tailed coat. The collar of the red coat of mostly tiger brown/light yellow fur based almost like a dotted leopard so are the cuffs. The coat has a detachable hood and provided with a lapel collar with front snap tab closure which gives you a unique, edgy and spirited appearance. Eric will sometimes wear a goth shirt or a different style shirt but he'll never wear a pure red shirt because it will remind him of blood too much.

Punk, Goth, and Emo are three different styles. You can't just clump them all together and expect it to work. You also can't just throw those words out as adjectives. There are variations of everything, so describe what you mean.

Different things wrote:
His gloves are dark blue and somewhat armor-like plated on his knuckles and little parts of the fingers. Their known as closed finger gloves mostly similar of the kinds of motorcycle gloves but in a gothic sort of way.
He's got, like, metal plating on these gloves? I don't really get it. There's one of your three favorite words again.

I'm getting confused wrote:
His choice of boots are timberland black boots; Eric's timberland boots are from Viper company. athletic-inspired tactical boots with the Viper family of uniform footwear. Loaded with a charged heel air cell for comfort and cushioning, the Viper boots are built to take on any job that duty throws its way.
So, you just plagiarized that description. Write it yourself.

Plagiarism makes me angry wrote:
Items: Black Leather Wallet made out of 100% cowhide(containing, Money, Visa Credit Card, ID, Driver's License, Local Citizenship), Holy Bible, Two Genuine Passports, Marlobo Cigarette Carton, Sunglasses, Goth Bookbag, Ammo
None of this is worth describing?

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry wrote:
Weaponry of choice:  
Lord Scorpio Brothers
Again with the plagiarizing. Those bullets don't work for so many reasons I can't even begin to explain.

One more strike and I'm disapproving just for that wrote:
Golden Uzis
More plagiarism! I also can't even begin to explain how terrible a weapon made of gold would be. Your "70 rounds" thing makes no sense, either. Does it crap out seventy bullets in a second?

Disapproved for plagiarism, but let's keep going just for fun wrote:
Slayer the Crescent Blade
The plagiarism doesn't surprise me anymore, but the fact you're taking this from Star Wars is kind of astounding. There's also no specifications on this blade, either, so I have no idea how big or long it is (could probably Google Image it, though).

Not happy wrote:
Senshi the Legendary Flute Knife
While I applaud you for actually writing this one (at least, I can't find anything you've copied from), magic like this is prohibited on the site, and all of that has potential for extreme godmodding. You also have no ammo counts for any of those guns.

This went downhill fast wrote:
Race: Lycanthrope
Can only start at Youngling or lower.

sddasgsadgr wrote:
Abilities: Eric's regular abilities are as follows:
Werewolves who have just started up in life. Often referred to as half-Lycans, these Lycans are either unable to transform into humans or into werewolves. This condition can be satiated through devouring a few meals. They are highly sensitive to the full moon and act accordingly.
Traits: Great weakness to blessed and silver weaponry (fatal), regeneration (takes up to 20 posts max to regenerate major wound damage such as limb loss), meager super strength, agility, stamina, reflexes, durability and senses, inability to either transform into a human or werewolf (depending on how they were at first) though only with the aid of the full moon.
So he's a Cub.

Okay then wrote:
Because of the curse, Eric looks like a werewolf human able to control his urges to kill and desire attacking people at random. Also another factor of the curse is that he doesn't have claws on his hands on feet anymore. The strangest thing is any clothing that the werewolf wears turns black instantly.

I honestly don't know what all that stuff before is supposed to mean (he looks like a human because he's a human most of the time?), but why do his clothes suddenly change color? If anything, they should disappear in full wolf form, like every other Lycan.

speshul wrote:
Highly Trained Swordsmen Specialist: He was trained by high ranked Gypsy. Eric has become an trained swordsmen specialist. He was shown to face off against an werewolf/vampire becoming highly proficient with his sword. Eric was able to face against a strong vampire when he was adult lycan warrior but easily was defeated. Growing up, Eric was shown to fight at an werewolf's, vampire's, human's or cyborg's level his mastery of his bladed sword was through her solo trainings. He was striving to become a protector to pull his full focus when fighting with his sword.
Firstly, "Gypsy" is actually a slur. The correct term is "Roma". Secondly, how is this person "high ranking" and why does that mean they know how to use a sword? I have no idea what the rest of that means.

Head is hurting wrote:
Skilled Marksmenship: Eric was skillful in using gun or sword slashes on the battlefield the lycan werewolf trained constantly perfecting him and focus when attacking with different weapons. Eric Zarathos uses both precision and focused accuracy mind when using a gun and bladed sword attacks in battle. This is similar to how a marksman gains skill, and hits the target more frequently. Anna has showed great accuracy, able to kill Vampires, Bad Werewolves and other warriors instantly using one or many bullets/sword slashes depending on their defense.
How are sword slashes used as a ranged attack? Who is Anna?

Gunblade...? wrote:
Unique Hand to Hand Combatant: Though he was self trained.  Eric Zarathos was trained to be a strong hand to hand fighter by his stepfather & training instructors. Eric was taught the skills of a wrestler, martial artist and a kickboxer at very adult lycan age. He is deadly lethal using punches and kicks being highly unpredictable in a fight using speed and reflexes to take on or kill his opponents. The lycan does like using his lycan strength into his punches to let his enemies know who there dealing with. Eric Zarathos is skilled enough to even hold his own against stronger fighters for short amounts of time. (That is if he doesn't get killed)
You're not taking on skilled fighters if you're "self trained". You're getting your ass handed to you by all but the worst street thugs.

Self-trained is bad wrote:
Dark Lightning Powers: Eric has been given unique ability from gypsies which he can enhance even augment attacks with dark red lightning energy giving much more powerful & deadly effect. Initially this was uncontrollable, but after enhancement by some training. Eric can mostly control this power creating lightning based attacks and defenses from his powers, creating weapons, attack and defenses with his dark lightning powers. Also Eric's dark lightning attacks can be defeated or counter by a stronger defense or strong energy barrier depending on the strength and defensive power of that enemy. However, Eric's defensive powers can be weaken if his dark lightning weapons are damaged by other stronger elemental attacks by his opponents depending on their attack strength.
So, um, no to all this.

No magic or force lightning wrote:
Telepathy Powers: Because of his gypsy power, Eric has telekinetic powers to moving objects from one place to another without using physical contact. Which means he could stop an attack and send it off to another direction or back to the enemy. Also having the ability to talk in people's minds when important information or tricking a person comes to pass. Eric can only his telekinetic powers only about four times because to large drain of powers.
No... This is super godmod. There are no "gypsy powers", either. The Roma are just people; they aren't magical beings from another world (except the DC Comics character Gypsy, who is, in the reboot, a Slider from another dimension).

Godmodding wrote:
Organization: The Hellsing Organization
I have a feeling I will have issue with this once I read the biography.

Don't make me sad wrote:
Personality: Eric is more calm and collective around people but the guy shows more of an serious attitude because the child was born within a church most of his childhood.
I have no idea what this means.

? wrote:
He wouldn't be the one who yells at a person during a dispute because his self disciplining; Eric doesn't get mad so quickly. He'll always try to find the good within things better yet a peaceful solution before going neutral or going into a rage when bad situations come to past. At times, Eric usually lets his telephone do the talking whenever it business related or money offers thinking technology is the best way to express what a person is thinking most of the time. When he had friends, Eric was and always is somewhat protective of his friends yet this have been know to spiral out of control though he has a caring heart. He always believed that he was something of heroic lycan that was given an unbelievable gift taking on different roles as a hero and a friend. Through adulthood, Eric took on a very serious role being no-nonsense & cunning warrior in his master's image trying to impress his family. After being trained, Eric has inherited the way of the warrior into his having the dark desire wanting to fight worthy opponents and knows that his fate is to win or die in battle. Throughout time, Eric started becoming more confident in his abilities enjoying the thrill of fighting against strong & powerful opponents. Seeking enlightenment with each encounter, he constantly journeys in order to improve himself. Outside of battle, Eric is a calm, collective but easy-going man, caring only for sake and food, He has something a romantic interest in some women. He's also admits to not being very smart at times and talented but he believes that these are obstacles for him to overcome.
I am having serious trouble understanding the bulk of this. What I can make out is you repeating yourself several times and describing a Protector!Sue personality, as well as Battle!Sue in that you're randomly trying to be Goku and find strong people to fight. You're generally hurt by the fact that you reference all this stuff that I have no knowledge or understanding of at this point in the biography, and it confuses the hell out of me trying to figure out what you mean by it.

Oh boy wrote:
Eric loves all animals except pit-bulls & mad dogs, he truly believes that some animals like cats, birds and dogs are like pure hearted creatures so to speak. Like every Friday, Eric will take bread and feed it to some birds despite bird feeding laws. In his mind, birds have an unique ability to travel across the world to soar the known skies with their wings being one with the wind. Now dogs, He hates pit-bulls from a previous encounter with one but other dogs like the Lassie kind, German shepherds or bulldogs their kind nature and their instinctive nature to help their masters. It the same thing with cats but he loves petting them and seeing their playful nature.
You just spent a paragraph describing why you like animals.

kjhgfdyu wrote:
As a Adult, Eric began weight lifting; when he reached the age of 25 he decided that because he is going to fight crime, he will not drink, smoke, or use drugs. He creates the illusion of being a borderline alcoholic as an adult by slipping in some nonalcoholic beverages. Eric has preformed many amazing feats due to his strong physique. Despite all the difficulties and trauma he has faced in his life, he has been shown never to back down, even in the most overwhelming circumstances. Eric's drive and motivation have allowed him to press through situations that would seem impossible.
Did...did you just copy Batman? The weight lifting thing is your own, but you're totally copying his "No Alcohol" policy. It wouldn't be a thing, except that you're directly referring to yourself as a crime fighter.

ljkjuhih wrote:
Rank: Lycanthrope (Cub)
Rank is for your position in a group. Race category goes in the Race section.

yhbhbjgfutc wrote:
Biography: Eric Lucien Zarathos doesn't know what happen to his parents if they have argument about him but all he knows that he's a half lycan/half human.
Can't be half-anything and you can't be born a monster.

uoubjhuhyvy wrote:
The only possible conclusion that his woman was a human and yet his father was a werewolf but then it was raining at the time and somebody was carrying him to a church.

So we jump from discussing his heritage to being at a church.

bhbbvbbb wrote:
The person knocked on the door and leaving him at a doorstep as Sister Mary McCullen opened the door seeing the baby thinking it was a blessing from god as the baby cried for his mommy. During his childhood, Eric was raised by nuns for most of years living in St. Mona Baptist Church then the opportunity came for him to go to school. The elder priest was against the idea but the nuns convince him that the child should help him interact with other children.
Why are they against a child going to school, as is mandated by pretty much every country? Why is this child not in an orphanage? We're past the time for kids to live in churches; they're sent to orphanages. An orphanage could be part of a church (see Anderson and Iscariot), but the church would not be where he lived.

ohuiutydryctuvy wrote:
Eric finally went to school and things started getting better until about two years some bullies were bothering most of the nerds within the school. The bullies started to form a gang and their started turning their attention on some nerds that were just smart thinking they were better then the bullies. One of them got beaten real bad, Eric intervene stopping the assault the bully tried attacking him but the child managed to break his arm. He helped the nerd back to his feet wondering why that happen and why people couldn't just act their own age. Really, Eric's lycan instincts played a major factor into the fight but somebody was looking at him and yet they disappeared every time.
I don't know how to respond to this.

ouyfyhbytuu wrote:
The situation got worse through high school after leaving the church being accepted into an orphanage images of blood always scared the teen. Eric would try to use pills to subdue the memory but it would always come back to haunt him but the half lycan tried keeping whatever memories locked his mind. Then the unknown cravings reach a boiling when he started howling to the moon and then it happen, he started to transform the teenager didn't know what was happening to him. The rage was unbelievable as the black werewolf started attacking people at random about twelve people were greatly hurt perhaps killed by the werewolf. The werewolf started running away from the scene of the crime, Were-Eric was travelling into a forest until the makes it near a camp of gypsies. One of the them was practicing black magic, Were-Eric was about to make a 13th victim until someone scent caught his attention it was a trap as the werewolf was caught.

I could actually write a paper on the number of questions raised here. Great way of stereotyping the Roma people as "black magic sorcerers", by the way.

uyuuuuy wrote:
The werewolf was in some sort of net until the leader of gypsies appeared from the tent and it was a woman knowing full well what his kind was. The woman's name was Anastasia El Dante a mistress gypsie of the black arts, Were-Eric didn't give a fuck who she was all he wanted to see was her blood. Anastasia knew this werewolf was out of control and probably killed people already because of the full moon but she was going to fix all that. The gypsy began working with her black magic trying to find a way of dealing with this werewolf all signs said she should kill him and use his fur and perhaps his teeth for rituals. Anastasia wanted to make an example out of this werewolf that none of the supernatural should ever mess with ones devoted to the black arts. She looked throughtout her spellbooks finding the perfect curse for this werewolf and it was called "Spawn Release of the Soul". Anastasia placed a curse power within the werewolf for the most part as first nothing happen as the net was cut by her bodyguards and the werewolf charged at the gypsy. The curse was activated as the werewolf started burning a little and then the werewolf started to look a little human almost like a human werewolf his claws were gone completely. Anastasia was laughing as the curse was activated giving the human full control of his werewolf form, Eric couldn't believe what he did. The gypsy thought now the werewolf wasn't going to be a threat anymore she wanted him to use his power for good instead of evil, Eric thought it must be for the best. Eric didn't know what to do the guy was lost and without an family member to guide him, Anastasia decided to become Eric's stepmother making a deal with him. If he follows her rules then maybe he'll teach him the black magic that she learned, Eric accepted her offer wisely living with gypsies for a long while until he was ready again. He actually came back to school finishing high school just nearly passing then finally going to college for about three years while with the gypsies.

This is just so...

tyexturytuvyo76cr67vu wrote:
On a Friday, Eric was calmly doing a gypsy's hair until he started to smell an familiar scent then started running outside into the forest. Then after some searching, Eric sees her the person that left him on the church step a lycanthrope just like him the scent was truly familiar because it was his mother Selena Zarathos. She wanted him to come back with him but be a pure lycanthrope a killer of the night the woman wanted her son back with her family once again. Everything was fine until she wanted him to become a killer to do what he did to those twelve people in a murderous rage every full moon. Eric refused her offer shaking his head then his father Alex Zarathos demanding him to returned with his family but the full moon showed up. They started to transform but Eric's parents were horrified as the result of what happen to their son looking more a little human then werewolf. Selena demanded to know what happen as her son told her a gypsy used her black magic to put an unbreakable curse on him the damage had been done and his father never wanted to see him again. Selena was shocked to see this but she just wanted her son to be safe thinking that she made the right choice after all telling her son that she'll always love him. Anastasia appeared looking at Selena seeing that she was Eric's mother as the gypsy told were-woman that she'll forever be Eric's mother from now on the were-woman nodded. Selena take one last look at her son before moving back into the forest

Two years later, Before the werewolf-human was about to leave, Anastasia gave him a magical flute telling him that ancient spirits of three animals will protect him in times of trouble. As a departure gift and his silence about the camp, Eric was given something of an crescent blade weapon to aid him whenever he transforms human werewolf once again. He started travelling a lot killing a bunch of evil vampires and werewolves with weapons that he stolen gaining the title of "Zen-Aku the Wolfman". The heroics of the lycan were seen by a human member of an organiztion when Eric actually defeated a high ranked vampire named Costel the vendetta lasted for two years. Eric killed the vampire inside a church then the human member approached him again asking him to join this Hellsing Organization as the werewolf accepted his offer hoping they could help him.
Hellsing doesn't care that you killed a vampire. They want you dead because they hate the supernatural. I didn't bother to respond to each section because, frankly, none of it makes sense. You name drop so many people and things and I have no idea what's going on half the time.

jkhuvybiyiy9ib wrote:
RP sample: Eric Zarathos hasn't been having good luck into finding stronger opponents since the werewolf clan exile him out of the ground just because of his negative attitude still he been having his share of bad luck. This was a very strange feeling the werewolf was having because it was first time ever since discovering that he has unknown powers inside of him that he ever felt alone. However, Eric managed to defeat some weakling vampire freaks within London they were kind of weak then he expected them they maybe talk tough but action speak louder than words still the werewolf will have to be on his ground from now on. The Vampires that he defeated were associated with Millennium the group that he hated with a passion their was no doubt evil still lives within that group, Eric won't sleep until that group has been defeated and dismantle. But something was bothering him mostly and it was a bad feeling two months ago, Eric managed to defeat a werewolf who was picking on a nice woman that he liked. She died during the battle but she never really deserved it wondering how more people are going to suffer if these vampires aren't taken care of and fast meaning his job and more importantly his mission wasn't done. As long as he stood with his clear mind and kindness among things then nothing will break him the only friend in his mind was his sword and his powers maybe in time, he'll gain friends. The girl's funeral was going to be today seeing a lot of cars passing him by having some sort of funeral flag on each car this was really was a time of sadness but this was a temporary setback. In his mind, Whoever this girl was she was already a spirit and now someone by now should be doing a exorcism which will allow her to enter the gates of heaven instead of purgatory. A former half lycan now transformed into a powerful warrior well the werewolf wasn't going to let such doubt cloud his judgment meaning the werewolf will have a lot of obstacles coming his day. No matter how painful they were and any regrets the werewolf might have about what he should have done to prevent it. "No, I mustn't let this get to me this is just doubt as a former clan member's pain can be controlled and forgotten but this solution isn't a concrete one the pain is always there...I must find strength that is the only option for me now" He thought. Eric started walking away the werewolf had made up his mind the guy was going to take the fight them to this evil hoping that he will survived and defeat this poison & bloodshed once and for all. The werewolf was determine with all his power that he'll single handedly bring Millennium and anybody like them down to their knees and burn their organizations to the damn ground. However, Eric thought facing them all would be suicide and it would land a quick death if he were to follow through on his goal this needed to plan a bit better facing a member one by one and taken them down slowly yet silently.

"Yes that will work maybe but using that strategy it can work but the higher ones the ones who run the organizations might be a problem meaning if push comes to shove.....I'll need help" He thought. He must deal with them one step at a time still that was the best course of action in his mind still the werewolf couldn't advertise that he wanted to fight a member of Millennium. Eric needed to bring a message to them stating that he wants to pick a fight the best way was beating vamps associated with the group and hopefully one of their best or a weakling will show up then the fight begins. Eric wanted to test his skills on the mad demon would defeated him before the one known as Eric Zarathos fighting that wolf berserker again would be the ultimate challenge telling him if he needed more training. Now into the message some vamps were moving about unseen by the humans now the werewolf needed to find the right one to pick a fight with and send his message to a Millennium members. He grabs one by the pant leg and slams him to the ground wondering what the hell just happen as he tries to fight the werewolf, Eric uses the dark power enhancing his body and power. The vampire was crying even screaming for help the hollow man couldn't believe how powerful the werewolf was begging for his life this was just music to his werewolf ears as he grabs the vampire's arm and breaks it. Now it was time to question this fool into finding some members of Millennium and beating them into bloody pulp just like the vamp as the werewolf started with his questioning. "SHUT UP....I'm a devil werewolf who is looking to smash some Millennium members are you aware for such members since you and your evil vampire friends have been hanging around those evil warmongers....They control some of the lands on this city my dream is to change all that bringing to dark dreams to an end.....Now where can I find another member of Millennium or are we going to play doctor some more starting with your face????" He said.

All the freak vampire knew some people by the names Zorin and The Major was running the whole thing their powers were unstoppable and that they should be fucked with at all. This isn't what he wanted but the werewolf saw the fear in the freak's face yet this fool was telling the truth so two ladies were running Millennium that was new info to him then the werewolf become stronger. Now he needed to figure out what he wanted to do with this vampire maybe even make an example out of him......
That's a sample.

This is disapproved based on the fact you copied three sections of your application from other sources.

Content wise, this character is a Gary Stu of the highest caliber. I see no way for this character to be reworked in a way that it would be accepted.

Literacy wise, you really need to work on your writing. Your control of grammar is so loose, I honestly can't tell what's going on half the time. Slow down and think about what you're trying to say. Use periods and paragraph breaks more often. Find a word processor that includes a spell check and grammar check.

In summation:

Approvals: 0
Disapprovals: 1
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PostSubject: Re: Kade Hiroshima [WIP]   Sun Sep 29, 2013 1:31 pm

Since you've posted a new topic for the redesigned character I'm just going to go ahead and burn this one.

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PostSubject: Re: Kade Hiroshima [WIP]   

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