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 Sir Wyatt Bathory.

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PostSubject: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 5:47 pm

Have you see the OVA or read the manga series of Hellsing? If so how far have you gotten? If not please direct your attention to YouTube, and watch OVA 1-4 at least. I read Volumes 1-3 and 10 and I saw all the OVA's.




Name: Wyatt Bathory


Age: 382

Gender: Male

Physical appearance: Standing at around 7'3 Wyatt is extremely pale due to lack of sunlight, but during his entombment he spent that time honing his already superior physical strength, and his Mental abilities as well when he could, giving him a well built physique. He has an assortment of chains around his neck that can be (But rarely is) used as limiters to his powers set by the Hungarian/Slovakian Nobility. Blonde Hair. Usually unkempt but occasionally slicked back. His eyes were once a Sky Blue but is now the Blood Red that is the norm with Vampires. His face has minor scaring from being abused but nothing too severe. Has a rather small nose. His chest while of normal build is heavily scarred, for it was Elizabeth Bathory's prime target in her abuse. He nearly killed young Wyatt and the Scars are a testament to his survival which is why he chooses to almost never wear a shirt under the trench coat he almost always leaves open: He sees it as a trophy of living, a medal for his mettle, and a way to focus his hatred upon the world.


Clothing of choice: Blue Trench Coat, Leather Knee High Riding Boots. Jeans.

Weaponry of choice: Usually relying on his Vampiric abilities coupled with his imprisonment, Wyatt almost never uses Weapons, but when he does it is usually in the form of Battle Axes, Polearms, Swords, etc. And even then he usually doubles it with his telekinetic abilities.

Race: Vampire.

Abilities: Being a Vampire for as long as he has has allowed him stand out from the average vampire, but alas, lack of actually training and regular feeding leaves him not living up to the potential he could obtain. Perhaps if he trained for a few centuries, or even decades he could be a Category A Vampire, but as it stand he is Category C Bordering D. He can influence the weak willed or the foolish (I.E the Depressed, mentally unstable, and desperate, but that is about it) He is vulnerable to sunlight, his strength his common for those of his category, but out of all the powers Vampirism has, Telekinesis is what caught Wyatt's eye. Once he found out he had this power, he trained it every day. Starting with the rats and rubble, he is now able to move about half a ton max with his Telekinesis but it leaves him drained and hungry afterwords.

Organization: None as of yet.

Personality: Wyatt Bathory is inherently anti-social picking up on his mother's paranoia. His centuries long isolation has wreaked havoc on his personality. Before his imprisonment, Wyatt was a kind, fun loving boy at heart, but eventually picked up his mother sadistic nature, and even incorporated the two, making even the simplest games into murders. Catch went from with a ball or stone to with a javelin or spear. Ring around the Rosie now included actually burning people to ashes. But once you get past his mothers influence you find a charming, intelligent boy, who is scared by the new world and of other people and given his history, is justified in these fears. Although, no one really survives past the sadistic nature as those who survive tend to flee. Perhaps there is hope for young Wyatt's innocence to come out and flourish yet again...

Rank: Sir, Count.

Biography:

Born to the crazed Elizabeth Bathory, Wyatt was often abused by his mother. It only got worse when she became a vampire via repeated bathing in the blood of those she killed, primarily young virgin women . In one of her beating, his chest was severely wounded and he nearly died, and would have, had it not been for his willpower and his now blossoming hatred. When the Countess of Blood was imprisoned in the tower by her family as punishment, Wyatt was thrown in there as well due to them thinking mother and son loved each other. It was then Wyatt was exposed to a new pain: Having his blood sucked by his own mother. One time she fed too much, resulting in the death of the innocent, human Wyatt Bathory, and the birth of the Sadistic,Vampire, Wyatt Bathory. He feigned death whenever his mother was awake. One night (Or morning, there was no windows there) Wyatt Bathory approached his slumbering Mother, and plunged his fangs into her bare neck, draining her of life similar to how she did the same. This not only killed the infamous Blood Countess, but also freed Wyatt of any control she had on him, as She drank from Him and Vice Versa. In addition it also gave him all 650 souls she consumed back before her imprisonment. For a few moments the memories of the mutilated hands, burned, frozen and starved bodies, and the faceless corpses flashed through his mind as the souls were transferred. He waited for days before he tried to escape, eventually, a weak minded guard came to bring food. It was then he hypnotized the guard, and ordered him to release the Vampire. It worked, and Wyatt had actually gotten his hopes up, until he was caught upon exiting the castle. Knowing he had some sway over the mind, they decided to imprison him within the castle dungeon, occasionally giving him prisoners to feed upon. After all he committed no crime, why kill him? On the other hand he was a Bathory and was in relative solitude with his Mother, What if she rubbed off on him? So entombment within the Dungeons was the final punishment. It was there he resided for centuries until 1999 during the now infamous Millennium attacks. A corrupt, vampire official opened the gate for Wyatt. He was met with the Vampire snapping his neck, and fleeing the castle under the cover of night. It was there he spent much time adjusting to today's world, and it's technology. In addition to hunting for the first time, as well.

RP Sample: Working through the pain of the blessed bullet. Wyatt looked at the Iscariot Priest, Y-you think this will stop me from ripping your head from your shoulders?!" He spoke in a thick Hungarian accent. The Priest just stood there, stoic and menacing as he reloaded his gun. It was then that Wyatt saw his chance. Using his Telekinetic powers, the Vampire ripped the gun from the man's hand and aimed it at the Priest. "Now r-run away o-or die where you s-stand" He said, hoping the Priest would not figure out the man had no idea how to use such a weapon. Unfortunately the Iscariot Agent said, "If this is where I die, so be it. At least I die doing the service the Lord sent me here to do. Looking at the gun in his hand, Wyatt assumed he just pulled the thing in the grip. Hoping he was right he pulled the trigger several times. The Priest, having the same enhancements as the others of his organization easily dodged the bullets, "If you are done now, perhaps we can resume the part where I kill you, you heathen?" The Priest said, unsheathing a Knife. Panicked, Wyatt ran towards his would be killer and aimed his fists for his abdomen, not aware that he still held the gun. The Priest was surprised when the knife was knocked out of his hands by the Vampire's blind fury and next thing he knew, his own gun was inside him. What neither of them knew, however, was that the gun still had one bullet left, and in his panic, Wyatt unwittingly pulled the trigger, causing the bullet to pierce the Priest's heart and head, thus killing him in a rain of blood, entrails, and grey matter.


Last edited by Sir Wyatt Bathory on Tue Jun 11, 2013 8:46 pm; edited 4 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 6:00 pm

You need to make a character sheet here.
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 6:10 pm

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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 6:12 pm

Edited it. Thank you Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 6:16 pm

You're welcome but you need to follow the template exactly. From what I see you just have to copy paste your information in the right areas.
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 6:17 pm

Seems a tad bothersome but I'll do it.
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 6:19 pm

It's mainly to keep things organized, and encourage detail and creativity.
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 6:39 pm

Hopefully this is better.
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 7:22 pm

Hello there Wyatt, welcome to the forum. Very glad to have you here. Now then, let's move through this one section at a time.

Name: The connection to the Countess could raise some eyebrows (We'll discuss that later) but as a name alone I have no issue.

Age: While age is heavily influenced by a character's intended biography, we tend to discourage OCs that are this ancient.

Gender: No complaints of course.

Physical Appearance: Dear Lord that is a tall boy. Decent start in terms of detail but he doesn't seem to have a face. You've given us the eye color but that's about it.

Clothing: I'm not fond of lists. Paragraph form is the preferred method.

Weaponry: Unarmed is fine. We'll get to the telekinesis in a moment.

Race: You need to specify the category of vampire that you are. The full list of the evolutionary chain can be found here: http://nightshaderpg.darkbb.com/t1724-race-information

Abilities: Nope. Sorry bud but not gonna happen. New vampire OCs begin at Category D and work their way up through our slaughter point system. I can't just let ya jump out of the gate with abilities on par with Blood Seras.

Organization: That's perfectly fine.

Personality: A bit brief but acceptable.

Rank: I have no complaints here.

Ya made a bit of a typo here and included "Abilities" a second time.

Biography: This is where things really start to get sketchy. First off, making the claim that Bathory was the first Draculina in Hellsing canon is a really big statement. I don't feel comfortable approving changes like that unless I'm sure they're handled carefully by people I trust and I just met ya bud. Second, why did she decide to go after her son like that? Famous or not, if you're going to use the legend surrounding Elizabeth in your bio then you've got to tell us those legends. There's no context or explanation for why any of the early stuff is happening. Going off that, if Bathory was the first Draculina then how did she have a kid? As far as Hellsing canon is concerned, vampires can't have children after they become vampires.

RP Sample: A bit on the short side and you're missing an example of a social interaction using this character.

All in all I think the character is a very interesting idea and I give you credit for trying something a bit different from the norm but there's too much in here that I just can't let pass. With some heavy edits we might be able to get something going but as it stands it's a no go bud.
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 7:45 pm

Thank you. I will take this advice to heart and clean it up some more. I am sorry my first draft did not meet the standard but hey, it is a first draft.
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 8:01 pm

Very true but there's no need to apologize. If at any time you have any questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to send a private message to me or any other member of the Staff or just track us down in the chatbox at the bottom of the forum homepage. Any of us would happily lend you as much help as we can.
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 8:48 pm

Here is the improved draft, my RP example may appear shoddy, but I am sure to improve with time. I hope I edited his abilities to less ludicrous proportions. If not, I hope you can point me in the right direction, and I am sorry for bothering you yet again.
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 9:21 pm

Age isn't working for me. No D is going to be that old.

Not every vampire has to be freakishly tall. You've Just Been Turned: A Beginner's Guide to Nosferatuism doesn't list that as a rule. This is more at the majority of people, not just you.

Clothing is too sparse. I need details.

Hearing telekinesis frightens me. Also, are we meant to imply that he carries those kinds of weapons but doesn't use them, or that he's supposed to pick them up randomly if he needs something?

Anderson already said you can't start higher than a D. You need to copy the abilities listed, too. That telekinesis is major grounds for unfair play and instantly wins you just about every battle you could find yourself in. You also lack any abilities for outside of battle, which puts you at a disadvantage outside of battles.

Personality is short. I want some other things, like how he fights or why he'd be so influenced by his mother. And Jesus toast, the hell is wrong with that woman?

I'm seeing some major history flaws in the biography. None of Countess Bathory's children were named Wyatt (she had four sons, by the way). Also, all her children were cared for by others, just as she was, and wouldn't really have enough interaction to abuse you as you claim. As a matter of personal opinion, I wouldn't exactly call her crazed, either; in those times, bathing in blood like that could seem like a perfectly logical, if illegal and evil, thing to do to stay young. I can accept her being a vampire, but as you've put it, it conflicts too much with real world history.

And it really starts to fall apart later. While the Countess was imprisoned in the castle, she was immured, meaning there was no way for you to get out after you'd killed her. It also makes zero sense for them to throw her child in there with her; he's obviously been abused by her and he's probably not going to go along with all that. If he was in there, why not put the rest of his siblings in, too? Even if I'm meant to believe he kills her and gets out, there's no way he can just be held in a dungeon for 300 years and no one does anything about it. If they know he's a vampire, they're going to kill him for being the spawn of Satan. If they feed you criminals, then you're making Ghouls. What possessed this other vampire to let you out, anyway?



Sample is kind of not great. You might find it easier to separate them into a talking and a fighting post. Most people find that easier. Also, when did he learn English? I just found myself wondering that the whole time.
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 9:57 pm

Thank you for the insight but may I put up some counter points? Technically speaking I think history flaws are allowed in the Hellsing Universe considering how if we were to go historically, Vlad the Impaler died via beheading. The powers and such I can fix to fit the standard but I think Historical flaws are a tad essential for certain characters. Hell, we could be here for weeks talking about how no Catholic organization would condone Iscariot or how the Catholic Duthman Van Helsing suddenly converted and moved to London. Hellsing shows us how powerful even low level vampires are. It is very well possible that I can alter the backround to say he escaped after a few days or weeks of using his new found Vampiric Strength to wear down the brick work of the structure so I do not see this as a fatal flaw. And no, he does not carry Medieval weapons with him as that would be cumbersome and honestly stupid. But say he is fighting in a museum, renaissance fair, or some other area with that kind of weaponry, he can use those weapons with great skill. As for the Age, I think the inability to actually use these abilities could explain why he is so weak despite his age, and yes I admit, I took the easy way out with the Clothing and I made his height tall because that is the first thing I imagine when thinking of a potentially powerful Hellsing Being.
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 10:01 pm

Alternate history is okay to an extent. You've practically changed the entire life of Countess Bathory, though, which isn't okay. Vlad was shown beheaded in Hellsing, the only difference from real life events being him coming back to life an unspecified amount of time later as Dracula. I'm fine with you getting out as long as you give explanation. The reason you can't be that low level and be that old is because age equates to power. If you go by the vampire ranks we use here, D vampires have to feed once a week or so. If you get fed a person every week, you'll grow in strength pretty fast over those 300 years.
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 10:32 pm

Ah, I see. But I checked one of the links (Forget which one) And they said that for an OC they cannot be anywhere near as old as 675 or something close to that. My 382 is closer to a mere half that number, so while I see the problem of Age equaling power, I am also within the stated rules as I am sure there are exceptions to this. Hell what if I change the name/story of Wyatt to her one of her actual sons? Could that, perhaps make my registration a tad more accepting?
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 10:37 pm

Yes, you aren't at Alucard's age, but 382 is still to old for a D. Being one of her actual children would help, but I'm still not really on board with the whole idea behind this guy.
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 10:42 pm

Do you have any suggestions, perhaps?
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 10:45 pm

Other than trying potentially trying something else, nothing that I haven't already said.
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 10:51 pm

Well that's depressing. I really wanted the Bathory concept to work. Also may I ask how these things are decided? Is it a vote among the admins or does the one currently online make the sole decision?
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 11:12 pm

Also, how old would a Class D vampire be?
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Tue Jun 11, 2013 11:47 pm

At oldest I would say maybe 150. No more than that though. Also it's Abraham Van Helsing not the other name you mentioned. Not to mention historical accuracy is exact until the very end of each historical figure or group. For example, Vlad was indeed beheaded, but Hirano changed that in the manga by saying that's when he became a vampire. As Dracula we the public are told he died, and that was not the case in reality. Nazi's were losing in WWII, and the major gets offered a new chance. Besides there really was a organization like Millennium called ODESSA where the Vatican did help them escape Europe for Argentina, and other South American countries. So you see the theme here really is the ending is different for public knowledge in order to hide the truth of the reality. Also Abraham moved to London as his adopted home because I'm assuming Queen Victoria made a nice offer to him, and that is how he became knighted. It also explains the wealth of the Hellsings. Van Helsing as it is changed the name to Hellsing to avoid being connected to the story of Dracula in public.
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Wed Jun 12, 2013 12:02 am

Thank you for the Clarification and sorry for seeming stubborn Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Sir Wyatt Bathory.    Wed Jun 12, 2013 12:18 am

It's fine.
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