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 "Kyrie, eleison. Amen"

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PostSubject: "Kyrie, eleison. Amen"   Mon Jul 02, 2012 5:44 pm

Have you see the OVA or read the manga series of Hellsing?  If so how far have you gotten?  If not please direct your attention to YouTube, and watch OVA 1-4 at least.  Warning: If you have watched the anime we require you watch the OVA, or read the manga.  The anime is not canon.  This is not our opinion.  This is the law set down by the creator of Hellsing, Kouta Hirano.Heck yeah. I wouldn't be hanging around here if I didn't, would I? Though everything is a bit fuzzy now. I lent all my books to my pal. I don't watch anime....

Name: Alice Killigraw

Age: 22

Gender: Female

Physical appearance: A raven-haired lady whose long hair reaches up to her elbow. Her eyes are dark green. She is around 171 in height. Weight is about 52 kg, but she seems to have a lean physique. While so, she possesses plenty of arm strength and leg strength, and on closer examination, her limbs possess quite a lot of muscle. She is always seen with a small, sad smile.
Her face has very sharp features, making her seem rather gaunt. Her eyebrows are generally neatly trimmed and other than that, she seems to be just any normal girl, outside of her choice of clothing. Her hair reaches past her eyebrows, and just touches her eyes. It is often pushed aside to a fringe.

Clothing of choice: A priest's cassock, an ankle-length robe worn by clerics, if you will, and is genereally close-fitting on the upper torso, despite the fact that she is female. It has a leather belt with a pouch and, on missions, a holster and several speed loaders around the hip area, replacing the fascia on a normal priest's cassock. Her cassock also has a shoulder cape. She choses to wear this as it is seems less complicated than the nun's habit, what with the headgear and the dress. Alice seems to be wearing a chest binder to accomodate the cassock. She also wears dress pants under the ankle-length robe. She also has a priest's white tab under her collar.


Weaponry of choice: A black classic Smith-and-Wesson-686 revolver with a customized eight-round cylinder loaded with .357 hollow-point bullets. The gun is slightly customized in the fact that it has a cursive engraving on the right side of the barrel, which ironically reads "God Bless You". The .357 bullets have engravings on the rim of the flat-end of the bullets, bearing names and numbers. On closer examination, these are references to several chapters and passages in the Bible, and most of them bearing messages regarding death, for example "Romans 6:23", "Rev 14:14", "Rev 20:14", "James 5:20", "1 Cor 15:26", "Matthew 25:41", and, the most common one of them all, "Ezekiel 25:17".
She also wields a black nodachi, which has a few special characteristics. It has a lack of a hilt guard, and the blade has the entirety of Ezekiel 25:17 carved upon it. When not in use, it lies sheathed inside an unimpressive sheath with a strap to have it slung around Alice's back. "Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

Race:[/b] Regenerator (imperfect).

Abilities: Regeneration (ie: maximum regeneration can take up to 8 posts for major damage such as loss of limb), enhanced strength, durability, agility, reflexes, and stamina.
Further explanation. Strength-wise, Alice is able to wield her nodachi with perfect control, like an average human with a shorter, less cumbersome sword, single-handedly. She is also able to handle the recoil of her magnum revolver. Outside of that, she can take on a half a ton of weight.
She can survive normally fatal damage to humans. This combined with her die-hard ways, she can easily push on up to the point of having all her limbs blown apart. True to her Regenerator abilities, she can recover from this damage, if she survives.

Organization: Iscariot.

Personality:[/b] Alice is a strong, devout Christian who has pledged to serve the Lord as much as she can. She can and will kill heathens, undead or living, in the name of the Lord. Make no mistake, she is no pacifist, despite the fact she is one who attends daily prayers and has clocked in the most time spent in the chapel.
This, however, overlaps an undue sense of trying to help those who have strayed from the path. She takes pity upon unwilling vampires and humans, but often cannot avoid killing them. Upon their death, though, she will offer a prayer to the Lord for the forgiveness of their souls and their ascension to Heaven. This does not apply to those who intentionally defame the Lord's name to extreme points and vampires who have dehumanized themselves. These are only reserved to perish for good and be condemned to hell for eternity. "Your soul fits not even with the Devil's lot. Perish and burn for the rest of eternity. Know suffering, heathen!"
This all results in her often having philosophical thoughts and daydreams, thinking of such things when she's not praying. Since she is always either praying or mulling over philosophy, Alice is rather introverted. She cannot handle conversations well, and will often end up at a loss for words. Other than scolding the new nuns and priests of the chapel, she does not interact with any others, making her seem rather anti-social. In actuality, she just has no idea how to talk to people who speak of anything outside of her religion.

Rank: Clergy

Biography:

RP sample:
Spoiler:
 



Last edited by Killigraw on Wed Jul 04, 2012 12:33 am; edited 5 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: "Kyrie, eleison. Amen"   Mon Jul 02, 2012 8:24 pm

She doesn't really have a face, for starters; just eyes and a mouth.

Want detail on the clothes. Describe the cassock to me, for I am blind and have never seen one. Also, what do you mean by "version of"?

More details on the weapons, but interesting idea with the bullets.

Don't know what the pending of the race means.

Want detail on the level of strength and such, as well as copypasta of the Regenerator abilities we have listed. Also, I suggest adding more things you can do, as that's all you can do at this point.

Wanting more personality, as we don't see much into interaction with others or how she works in daily life and such. Also hoping for an explanation as to why she wants to wear a man's outfit instead of a woman's, as well as general "Why?" to how she is in general.

You lost me with that biography. Kind of have to tell us how the burning house and (I'm guessing) murderous toddler appeared at the top. If you're creative, you'll find a way to explain it without giving too much detail.

There's a lot of holes in it in general. You skip through time like a stone on water, going from 5, to 14, to 17 within the span of three paragraphs with nothing in between. I'm sure there's something to fill the gaps. Also, she'd probably require some training before they just threw her into the field with powers.

While well written, you don't seem to have a social post in your sample. Social post would constitute talking to another person for at least a couple lines.



You can probably fix this easily, as all you're missing is detail on things you already have written.
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PostSubject: Re: "Kyrie, eleison. Amen"   Mon Jul 02, 2012 9:02 pm

I'll work on it. But my blackberry is running out of battery. I'll fix it as soon as....8 hours from now, I guess. Thanks for the criticism. Tho....Alice just doesn't seem to get well with people. That's gonna be a hard one. Hm.

EDIT: Ouch. I'm going to be a bit late on schedule. Give me at the very most two more days. I'll settle most of the problems by then.
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PostSubject: Re: "Kyrie, eleison. Amen"   Fri Jul 06, 2012 4:38 pm

I'm looking for the bio but I don't see out at all in the spoiler or any where else. So please fix this and I'll vote.
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PostSubject: Re: "Kyrie, eleison. Amen"   Fri Jul 06, 2012 8:04 pm

I'm workin' on it. Ugh. The bio I came up originally ended up pretty....draggy. For me. So I decided to cut down a bit, and restarted the whole thing. Also fixed a few of the coding problems, where some words aren't bolded, in the draft I have. Also, I changed the ages between the events to minimize skipping through years, as Ridl has pointed out.
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PostSubject: Re: "Kyrie, eleison. Amen"   Tue Aug 07, 2012 7:52 pm

Are you still working?
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PostSubject: Re: "Kyrie, eleison. Amen"   Fri Aug 17, 2012 2:44 pm

Going to have to disapprove for inactivity.
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