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 Lee Asamotto the II [WIP]

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PostSubject: Lee Asamotto the II [WIP]   Sat Apr 14, 2012 7:01 pm

Have you see the OVA or read the manga series of Hellsing? If so how far have you gotten? If not please direct your attention to YouTube, and watch OVA 1-4 at least. Warning: If you have watched the anime we require you watch the OVA, or read the manga. The anime is not canon. This is not our opinion. This is the law set down by the creator of Hellsing, Kouta Hirano. I have indeed read the manga and watched the most recent video's. Own the first three DVD's, Booya!

Name: Lee Asamotto II

Age: 27

Gender: Male

Physical appearance: His height is 185 cm or 6 feet 1 inch. Lee has pitch black hair that goes just past his eyes if it so happens to move downward in front of his face. His eyes are a dark green color but these are hidden behind the glasses that he wears at times. He has a light complexion and tends to cover himself in clothing more often than not. His body strength however has been honed to a fine tone.
click for picture


Clothing of choice: Lee takes on the appearance of a tall, male adult with black hair and dark green eyes. He typically dresses in an outfit consisting of black trousers, a tailcoat, vest, with a crest on his shirt cuffs and tie. He also sports a pocket watch with a chain, and a chained silver lapel pin bearing the same crest. He usually wears a set of white gloves that he rarely takes off.

Combat Armor: The combat armor that Lee dons in battle is made with high-impact urethane which has a number of beneficial effects. A wide range of hardness, abrasion and impact resistant, higher load bearing and flexing capacity, high or low friction variability, strong bonding properties, stable in harsh environments, wide resiliency range. This armor is not actually built for fighting but instead, to take the brute force of his own weapons. The armor was a gift from a well satisfied client in Korea by the name of Kimlee Park whom was working on a prototype combat armor that could be used in the military. The armor limited movement to a walk at best and its power-supply could only last for limited amounts of time and there was no possible way the armor could be mass produced.
How it is applied


Weaponry of choice:
Black Widow Sniper Rifle: Accurate and deadly anti-material rifle. Effective against armor, shields, and even the toughest of opponents. Weighing in at 39 kilograms, the Black Widow Rifle is primarily used by sniper teams in assault missions against armored vehicles or strongly enforced enemies. The Black Widow was never designed to be carried and fired by a human. Although this modified model can be carried, no ordinary human could fire it without shattering an arm.
M77 Pistol: The M77 is a reliable, durable weapon developed by Wild Geese Mercenaries looking for a high-powered but easily concealed sidearm for undercover agents. Surprisingly small for its hitting power. The M77's shots are unquestionably more powerful than a normal sidearm.
300M Shotgun: Very rare shotgun. Deals high damage at short range; less effective at long range. Effective against armor, shields and freaks alike. It is of human design but is only used by only the toughest of shooters, due to the fact that the kickback from a single shot has enough force to break a normal human's arm.
76M Assault Rifle: Unleashes a storm of deadly high velocity slugs. Less accurate than an assault rifle, but has a high ammo capacity and deals much more damage.
CR3 Submachine Gun: Featuring a complex recoil-reducing mechanism and high-grade autotargeting software, the Locust delivers longer-range, more accurate fire than others in its class. As accurate as the CR3 is, it has very low damage, though this is partially remedied by its ability to keep putting shots on a target within the same area. As well as this, its slow rate of fire makes it a poor choice for close quarters.
Special Ammunition Harness: The armor itself is not without its own help aside from the lightweight design. It hold small amounts of ammunition for each of the weapons but the ammo within the harness are for monsters specifically. With the steel bullets bearing a core made from the melted silver Christian cross from Cathedrals he has come across during his travels, he makes it a point that he will not be found unprepared.


Race: Human

Abilities: Lee is almost a prodigy with any sort of firearm and he takes pride in this. He takes it as a challenge to see something that is supposed to be used to end someone's life from a distance and wishes to add it to the numerous amounts of others he has taken in his hands. With this, he has also gotten a rather usefulness to carrying multiple weapons and has found that taking orders is almost a boost in his own moral so it comes in handy in some situations.

Organization: Wild Geese Mercenaries

Personality: Despite his ability to appear like a perfectly normal person, especially one who is able to smile, be cheerful, and be understanding, Lee is, in actuality, quite heartless, sadistic, and malicious. Lee is a dutiful and dedicated man who will take any sort of job that is placed down in front of him and do it to what ever means a person is willing to pay for. His limitations to this is very slim so his actions usually reflect what the client is pleased to see or hear. Normally, he likes to simply follow orders and enjoys toying with others on different levels but in the end, he tries not to make to many enemies as he finds the company of friends and co-workers to be far more pleasant.

Rank: Mercenary

Biography:

RP sample:


Last edited by Lee_Asamotto on Sat Apr 21, 2012 8:58 pm; edited 2 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Lee Asamotto the II [WIP]   Fri Apr 20, 2012 1:37 pm

If someone could look this over and tell me what would need to be changed and so on, that would be great
^_^d
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PostSubject: Re: Lee Asamotto the II [WIP]   Fri Apr 20, 2012 1:51 pm

Everything looks good to me.

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PostSubject: Re: Lee Asamotto the II [WIP]   Fri Apr 20, 2012 6:17 pm

First thing that caught my attention was how you say he has green eyes in the appearance, but then say he has red in the clothing. Um, contacts? That needs explaining, regardless.

Second thing that caught my attention is how you're wearing some computerized suit of armor. I'm going to need serious description of what it's made of, how it works, and how he got it, because this is way above mercenary-grade.

You have 5 guns, 4 of which are bigger than your arm. Does he really need all of that at one time? I'll go more in depth for these weapons now.

First of all, how do you score a head-shot with a sub-machine gun? For that matter, how do you CONSISTENTLY hit head-shots with a sub-machine gun?

This heavy gun is baffling, to say the least; it fires actual missiles. There's also a whole lot of jargon from whatever game you got these guns from, so I don't know what to say about that.

Finally, you reference (several times) that your guns will just murder a normal human if they try to fire it. What does that make you, then?

Abilities is practically nothing. I'd like to know what else he can do besides shoot a gun.

I can say the same about personality, but it slightly more detailed. It still doesn't explain enough about this guy, though, so I'd like more. Some good examples come from biography, as just the first paragraph mentions stuff I never knew about his character until now.

Biography itself, however, is lacking in some very important parts. One of these is how his family was thrown out on the streets if they were far from poor, as you said. Another would be: How did he just up and decide to be a mercenary? There's some things (like the "no murder" laws most places have) that usually prevent some kid with a gun from going around being a killer for hire. How did he get around that? You also don't tell us how he got that armor or those weapons. I don't know if we're supposed to assume he got it after joining the Geese (kind of impossible, since this is all way past their caliber of equipment), but it needs telling all the same.

RP sample lacks a social post. Yes, he speaks, but he's not holding any kind of conversation or interaction with another person. Just add in a few lines with the other mercenary or banter with the vampire and you'll be fine.
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PostSubject: Re: Lee Asamotto the II [WIP]   Fri Apr 20, 2012 6:45 pm

I'm not very good with guns and such so if ridl or someone else points it out then I'm sure there's something not right.
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PostSubject: Re: Lee Asamotto the II [WIP]   Fri Apr 20, 2012 9:31 pm

Duly noted parts and I am doing a nice make over for the questionable parts in question.
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PostSubject: Re: Lee Asamotto the II [WIP]   Fri May 18, 2012 3:45 pm

It's been nearly a month. Are you working on this?
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PostSubject: Re: Lee Asamotto the II [WIP]   Sun May 20, 2012 2:34 pm

Been a month since you last messaged, so it's going in the disapproval bin.
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