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 Ripple Aster

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PostSubject: Ripple Aster    Sun Mar 04, 2012 8:32 pm

Name: Ripple Aster

Age: 21

Gender: Female

Physical appearance: When it comes down to it, Ripple seems like a giant. She stands around 6'1 with a muscular body. This includes muscular shoulders, abs and arms and legs that look remind you slightly of pistons. She has a strong and proud look about her. Though, just because she is muscular does not mean she is not feminine. She has some soft curves with just average sized breasts overall. Her hair is a deep grey with long bangs in the front and shorter in the back. The longest area is a small braid that is behind her left ear that goes down her back to her rump. When you’re particular about it, she only actually has one eye (right eye). When she is on the street she will usually where some of patch over it or part her hair so it is covered. If she is at some type of important event she always has a fake eye on her at all times. The eye she does have is a deep, demanding grey. Her eyes are always narrowed with her arched eyebrows always slightly raised. She has a simple roman nose that runs into a set of full lips. Her cheek bones are high causing her face to look very thin. Her skin has more of a tanned look to it with scars on different parts of her body. The most prominent one is of course over her missing eye. She has one tattoo of gang origin on her shoulder of different vines and flowers. She is usually seen carrying around a simple black satchel.


Sketch Concept:




Tattoo:




Clothing of choice: She usually wears things that suit her look, but add movement and comfort as well. She usually wears loose skinny jeans that ride a bit low that are held up by a black belt. Her shirts are usually different bands (Nirvana, Rammstein or Korn) or rappers (Lil Wayne, T-pain or Eminem). A hoodie goes over that of different colors, but most of the time she sticks to more of a grey or neutral color. Her shoes are comfortable converse. She does have piercings. She has two on her left eyebrow. One on her lip and a stud in each year with claps on the cartilage. On her hands she wears a simple pair of fingerless gloves. So yes she really does have her own set of style.

Weaponry of choice:

She carries very few weapons:

2 Browning 9mm Hi-Power: She got them as soon as she turned eighteen years old ,but when she was younger she was known to carry around a small pistol. It has a thirteen round magazine capacity and she carries around ten magazines around with her at a time. The barrel length is 118 mm and weights around two pounds. The holsters for each of them are hidden underneath her hoodie. She carries around ten magazines at a time for them in the backpack she always seems to have with her. When shooting, she usually holds the guns so the pinky is pulling the trigger.

Shank: It is something simple which she keeps hidden in between her breasts at all times. It is made of steal and fits her thin fingers perfectly. She uses it mostly when she is fighting at close ranges. She stole it from a drunken and sleeping hobo when she was of a younger age ratio.

Butterfly Knives: This is just more of a back up option for her so she always has something that she can hide on her at all times. She keeps two hidden in each shoe so she always has something to protect herself on her. Bullets do have a tendency to run out.


Race: Human

Abilities:

Strength: She can bench around three hundred pounds. This is most likely from her excessive exercise that she gets daily. She never really wants to quit until she feels sore after she is done. This makes her become stronger and stronger.

Stamina: She can keep running for 3 to 4 miles mattering on how tired or fatigued she is beforehand. This also goes with her work ethic. She is not really considered lazy at all when it comes to exercise. That and she just has a joy for running.

Speed: She can run a hundred meters in 11-12 seconds. Those are just the basics of her speed. With being very fit for a human female this is about her average when it comes down to it. So it is not surprising that she can run that fast, especially with her height.

Knives: She is very adept in handling blades and especially marksmanship with them. She isn't always accurate as she would like to be because of her eye, but she makes do. She can get people at close ranges most of the time, but farther ranges are tricky.

Fighting: She does not have one specific style that she clings to since she really only knows what she picked up on the streets. She is considered a Blitzer because of her ability to effectively switch from offensive to defensive when she needs to. She also mixes some dance moves to make her movements a bit random and hard to follow. She has the basics of boxing and a very hard kick to boot. A man would not like to be around her at any time.

Eye: Her missing an eye is her greatest weakness, it makes her mostly a close range fighter and even though she can sense things happening on that side of her face it is still the most vulnerable. Though, she seems to be a good shot, it takes her a minute to actually get everything lined unless she is fairly close. Her good eye is actually 15 in vision which compensates for the eye that she lost as a child.

Organization: Unaffiliated

Personality: Ripple is just a calm. Her calmness not matter what the situation is a bit disturbing to say the least. This plus a high intelligence seems to keep in check. No she is not textbook smart; she has more street smarts than anything else. She understands how people work and sees it as a way to control those around her. Though, she mostly does it as a passive aggressive way to get back at people, it is a very good tool for her to have to say the least. She is also a natural leader. When it comes down to a hard situation she is known to take the 'bull by the horns' and get the job done. Among other things she also is a person that enjoys the small things in life. She is not really someone that comes off as greedy or power hungry ,but seems establish the point as soon as you meet her that she will be the leader if need be.

Rank: Human

Biography: Ripple had a simple life as 'street trash' or at least she was considered so when she was much younger. Ripple's parents would be considered the lowest of the low. Her father left when she was just a child of three and her mother was a single mom that could hardly take care of her. When she was born her mother was kicked out by her parents at being pregnant at the age of seventeen. Her father was a man of mystery. Her mother never talked about him at all. They lived on the bad side of New York, New York which is not the best environment to grow up in. The projects were a place of ridicule and many children were not safe even there. With lack of funds her mother could not afford a better place for both of them to live. This cause Ripple to be very cautious at a very young age and to mature at a faster rate than a child should.

By the age of six she was enlisted in school. Kids saw better things to do than get an education, but Ripple saw school as a safe escape from the harsh streets. She was very intelligent, but as soon as she turned around fourteen years of age school became very dull. She slowly started going less and less to take up odd jobs to help her mother and slowly started to get into crime for the reason they needed the money. At the time her mother was not well and seemed to be getting worse without the money to go to the hospital and get things checked out. She spent most of her time providing and helping out her beloved 'Ma' as much as she could. Though, she never stooped so low as to sell drugs. On her spare time school was possible, but it was very hard because sleep was so rare.

When she turned around sixteen she started to get into underground fighting. This paid a lot of money and she made sure to hide the bruises from her mother who could hardly move. She always knew how to fight beforehand. Living on the streets it was either fight to survive or die in the gutter. Of course, when she was younger she carried a small pistol that her mother owned. It is quite obvious her mother did not know this, but she would sneakily slip it back in its hiding place after she was done with it. She did not hurt anyone. It was more protection for herself. At this point she did not even see a point in going to school. The fighting and training took up most of her life. She was either finding ways to get money or physically working herself to the brink. She would come home sore with a smile on her face. At this age she started to become associated with gang members through the fight rings.

When she turned 18 her mother died. She was expecting it to come of course and she was out when it happened. She used what she had to get her mother buried, but that is about it. Since she could legally stay on her own now she needed to find a place to stay. She did not weep for her mother. She stayed very calm and calculating about the situation. One of her friends from the gang offered her a place to stay. This is when of course she joined in. Though, the term 'gang' was used a lot, they seemed like a family. This point in time she also got her tattoo. A very crime involved family ,but one none the less. At this time she was given all of her weaponry by her 'family member' except for the shank of course. She stole that old, rusty thing from a hobo out of boredom. After a while she went on normal raids with them and fought more often in the underground ring. This is where she loses her eye.

Traditionally knives are not allowed in fights; it lowers the odds for both and makes it a little bit shortened. The woman she was fighting for a large sum of money was on the verge of defeat. She had a knife hidden in her shirt and she pulled it out before Ripple even realized what was happening. All she felt was a large zap of pain and the knife came down on her eye hard causing that side to be permanently in darkness. She won the fight, but at a cost she did not want to pay. At this point, she was highly respected in the 'family' and was seen as the top fighter since all of them were female. After she lost her eye she did not see a point anymore. Her impairment made things harder since at the time she was not used to it and everyone looked at her differently.

At the age of 19 she packed her bags and headed for Europe. She wanted to leave her shady past behind of course and needed a break from everything. She landed in Poland and just hitchhiked her way around. At the age of 21 she is finally saw it as a good opportunity to go to London and party.



RP SAMPLE FIGHT:
The day was slowly getting dark in the City of New York. Gunshots started to go off as the sunset started to close in and the sound of police sirens soon followed. If someone were to look closer than you would see an alley way with a big fight going on. A group of people were surrounding a tall girl. "Ya got ta be kiddin' me", she said sizing up all of the individuals around her. "Come on girly, bring it", one of them spat. "Yeah, make the first move", one of them egged her on, but she let them move first. The one closest to her rushed at her with his fist raised. Ripple did a simple dodge and tripped him which made him tumble off to the side. She aimed a punch for one of the people’s head effectively clobbering the older boy on the temple. She then twisted and kicked the other boy in the stomach with as much force as possible. When she was not looking the leader of the group who hung back, he punched her right in the stomach making her recoil in pain and cough in pain. She held it for a minute when a fist came straight for her nose. The cheap shot was clumsy and misaimed so she simple ducked it and did an uppercut to the man’s fact. The rest of the fight was a blur to her. When she finally realized what happened to looked up to see the unconscious individuals. She turned tail and ran as fast as she could back come with her battle wounds apparent and hard to look at.

RP SAMPLE NORMAL:
Ripple just liked to walk. It was something simple and meaningless which helped her clear her thoughts and see how the world really worked. She enjoyed people watching most of all while she did this simple task. Her eyes would scan the crowds with uninterested intent until she found an interesting person so she would sit down. The man was normal, but the thing was her was just poking himself in the most random places like he was itching there for a second and then changed his mind for another place. It almost looked like some strange ritual that someone did on a normal day. Of course, he had no idea that she was watching him. She subconsciously touched the cross around her neck and licked her lips in anticipation. When he moved on, so did she. She could not stay in one place for long. The flow of people she could watch was always changing. This change could bring trouble or other new ideas which could create a whole new generation of fears or bravery.

RP SAMPLE FOOD:
She always seemed to be hungry. Her hunger growled deep in her belly like a hurricane on the coast of New Orleans just waiting to happen. She walked into her neighborhood McDonald's and order a simple number ten large which was chicken nuggets with fries and a coke. She sat down in the corner of the food joint and dug in slowly. Her jaw worked so she could enjoy her rare fatty treat. She looked around the restaurant with half closed eyes before sitting back and licking her lips. Her nose crinkled slightly when she noticed that her food was already gone. Thirty minutes had passed in what seemed like mere seconds, but that is what life was like sometimes. Enjoyment came in short bursts. She dumped out her tray before moving towards the door. She pulled the hoodie around her ears up before heading out into the snow of New York City. Her eyes half closed in the cold. She was greeted by a throng of people and the normal lullaby of screaming taxi drivers. This truly was her home.


Last edited by Ripple Aster on Fri Mar 16, 2012 12:13 am; edited 32 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Ripple Aster    Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:02 pm

This sheet has a lot of Sue-ism from what I see. I shall list the ways. Everything in pink is a Sue characteristic.

Why does she have different colored eyes? You don't give us a reason for this, and they almost seem like they're mismatched.

The whole "in touch with Gawd" thing is pretty random; it doesn't seem to have affected her personality really at all, other than the "she prays sometimes" part. The only reason I bring this up is that you address it several times but don't really give any detail as to why it's important or what the "special relationship" you mentioned earlier was.

The whole personality is basically a huge contradiction. She respects authority (in a gang, I assume), but then you go and say right after how she'll take charge even if it's not her place to do so, kind of undermining the point from before. What exactly causes her to go from "fiery" to sweet? You say she's calm and collected, yet you describe her as someone who goes out looking for fights. She doesn't like crowds, yet she hangs around with a gang.

And here's biography. Why doesn't she have parents? You never address this.

If everyone at her school and (apparently) in her life hates her for no apparent reason, why did she choose to join a gang and how did she get in?

I don't understand why Ada would enroll a child with obvious anger management problems into martial arts classes; she's just being taught how to hurt other people better.

She goes through puberty and her guardian tries to lock her in the house? Why?

Why would she send her to London, of all places, to go to a reform school? Not to mention, as I seem to need to repeat every single time I talk to people, London is a crater.


Sample has no conversational post (except the language of fist!).
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PostSubject: Re: Ripple Aster    Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:19 pm

The bones are there, but like people in the Victorian Era, and Edwardian period you tend to add too many feathers, jewels, and luxurious items to your attire to show off your wealth. But this added trinkets are just bothersome, and distracting. You have some mary sue things in here, and I feel like despite being listed as human you are trying your hardest to still have her as a wolf of some sort. The evidence is with the description of her eyes, and other things. I'm sorry but this is a flat out no for me.

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PostSubject: Re: Ripple Aster    Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:28 pm

Can no one vote on this yet, i meant to get advice before actually submitting it fully
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PostSubject: Re: Ripple Aster    Thu Mar 15, 2012 1:19 pm

Is this ready to vote at all?
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PostSubject: Re: Ripple Aster    Fri Mar 16, 2012 12:23 am

Right so last time I voted I said I would keep my disapproval. I was willing to give you a chance until you started begging people to edit your sheet for you. You asked more than one person to look over your sheet and tell you what to edit. Not once on the cbox have I seen you try to tackle edits on your own with your own brain. Sure we all have times we like to have the second opinion or even the occasional help on a section of the sheet like the biography. However, to have multiple people editing your sheet for you is another thing. It goes beyond help, and it appears as if you can't do anything on your own. You couldn't even do a simple spell check on your own. There's a reason why we have google. Use it.

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PostSubject: Re: Ripple Aster    Thu Mar 29, 2012 2:43 pm

Is this still good for votes or are you working on it?
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PostSubject: Re: Ripple Aster    Fri Mar 30, 2012 7:50 am

You can vote.
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PostSubject: Re: Ripple Aster    Fri Mar 30, 2012 2:53 pm

I'll start by agreeing with everything Integra just said. For at least a week, I saw you begging everyone who came into the chatbox to look at your sheet. It does not take 50 people to check for spelling errors. Alfred even admitted to editing it for you, so that's reason enough for disapproval right there. The sad part is this isn't actually too bad in it's current form, but I can't tell if it's your work or someone else's with how many people have "spell checked" it.

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PostSubject: Re: Ripple Aster    Fri Mar 30, 2012 6:43 pm

Truthfully I don't care anymore. You can just take this sheet down. I've been to busy to even come on here.
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