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 Father Olsta Makorav (WIP)

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PostSubject: Father Olsta Makorav (WIP)   Sat Oct 01, 2011 9:26 am

Have you see the OVA or read the manga series of Hellsing? If so how far have you gotten? If not please direct your attention to youtube, and watch OVA 1-4 at least. Warning: If you have watched the anime we require you watch the OVA, or read the manga. The anime is not canon. This is not our opinion. This is the law set down by the creator of Hellsing, Kouta Hirano.yes

Name: Olsta Makorav.Nick name:Hell Destroyer

Age: 30

Gender: Male

Physical appearance: Olsta is a rather tall man reaching the height of 62 inches.A stubbed beard on his chin which covers half of his scar that goes from his eye to his chin.His long purple hair reaching just past his neck,which curls at the end.He also has emerald colour eyes.He has a highly muscled body which would make most men jealous of his body.He has also most no hair on his body apart from his hair.

Clothing of choice: He wears a crusader sit consisting of chain mail body suit under his steel armour the red crusader cross proudly shown on it.Above he wears a crusader helmet a eagle on the top and the view slit shaped like a cross.A crusader cape also having the red cross on it flows from his back. Steel armour covers his legs as do black boots.He wears the standard Iscariot paladin uniform when not in combat but.

Weaponry of choice:He carries two swords one a Japanese katana called .Christ hammer. The other a Medieval crusader broad sword called .Power of god. Passed down through his family.Both blessed and laced with sliver and holy water to kill any unholy foe the Japanese sword on his back and the broad sword at his side near his Uzi.He also carries two Uzi's one on each side respectably.The bullets laced with holy water and the casings made from sliver.He calls his right Uzi Saint peter and his other called from death to legend.

Race: Regenerator

Abilities: Humans who have gained the ability to regenerate from damage, often through genetic experimentation. NOTE: Regenerators are exclusive to the Iscariot Organization.
Traits: Regeneration (ie: maximum regeneration can take up to 8 posts for major damage such as loss of limb), enhanced strength, durability, agility, reflexes, and stamina.

Organization: The holy Iscariot organisation or Section 13

Personality: Makorav feels nothing but pure,utter hatred for those who don't fellow the catholic religion or those of which are unholy creatures in his eyes hoping to enlighten them with holy fire.He feels it as his duty to keep the people of the catholic religion and the people of Section 13 and her sister sections against all unholy beasts who deserve righteous hellfire.His tastes in everything range from classical to new mostly in his tastes of music like Disturbed,CAGE,Iron maiden the legends and old russian music,


Biography:Born in Moscow just after the soviet union collapsed to Dimtri Makorav and Natasha Makorav who stayed in Russia for seven years after the union fell leaving Olsta a fluent in russian.After a riot in which both is parents where killed He left taking the crusader weapons and armour passed down through out his family.He walked and toke any ride he could and went to Italy where he pick pocketed just to live before he was token in to a orphanage its head Father Alexander Anderson.When the boy turned 18 after being accepted into Iscariot was turned into a regenerator.

He donned his crusader armour and weapons and swore to fight for the pope ,god, Jesus.On one trip to Germany he found a arms dealer who's trade was SMG's Olsta bought two Uzi's to keep enemy's at bay and bought a special katana from him also which he uses to destroy enemys when he returned from that mission he got them blessed,slivered and sprayed with holy water to have most effect on the unholy creatures.Back at the orphanage he helped with the children by telling them tales of the crusades and storys from the bible.

Months after that he was sent to Scotland where he was tasked with looking and destroying vampires in the area near Glasgow of which they where in a large base of clubs.After 6 days of scouting the clubs he went in and attacked circumspectly there where more then he thought where originally there.Two hours of hard fighting one managed to scratch his eye but was killed shorter after scratching it but he was attacked by too many and captured forced to work for them.But after two weeks he managed to escape and get all his gear back and finish the mission leaving scotland and returning to the Vatican and the orphanage.

RP sample:A group of vampire punks seen a horse walking towards them dressed in a white vale they ran over to it thinking foodbut when they reached it.....A hail of bullets ripped through the trees killing most of them the remains of the vampire group began to run unknowingly they where being fallowed by a strange figure.They reached an house when they entered the figure was sitting in the middle one shouted "IT'S ONLY ONE MAN LETS GET HIM BOYS AND RIP HIM TO SHREDS!"The figure clapped as he rose up and said "DA! comrade but you must die! Ashes to ashes dust to dust"The figure ran up and cut all the rest of the vampires and cut them in half.Blood going over his armour and cape as he slashed through them effortlessly

The figure walked out from the house as he reached the 15 step the house exploded getting rid of all the evidence he or any vampire had been there at all.He got on his horse and yelled "YA! ONWARD NIKOLAI! "He kicked the horse as he galloped away from the scene as it turned a and jumped over a small river 6 ghouls stumbled out of the forest Hmmm they dont know when to give up do they.Oh well MORE FUN FOR ME .The horse leaped over them a broadsword slicing the head's off two as Makorav jumped off Nikolai and threw his katana at one of the ghouls,hitting it in the heart as he loaded his Uzi's and fired at the 3 last ghouls killing two out of three hitting the last one in the leg.He ran up and grabbed his katana and sliced the last ones head off the blood going over his armour.

Social post
Olsta walked through the orphanage his helmet in his hand as he walked into the library passing nuns,fellow fathers and children as he sat down and pulled out the bible reading it a small child walked up and tugged on his cape saying "Father can you read me a story please."Olsta smiled and put the small boy on his lap as he read the bible to him.The story on how the world was made in seven days by god this was the heartfelt side of the hell destroyer when not killing and slaughtering in the name of god the pope and Jesus.This was his good side.

Last edited by Father Olsta Makorav on Sat Oct 01, 2011 5:50 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Father Olsta Makorav (WIP)   Sat Oct 01, 2011 5:40 pm

First, you didn't actually answer the first question; it's not yes or no, it's explain how much you've seen or read.

I'm thinking he's a bit overloaded with weapons. Also, don't you have the sword locations mixed up? A katana is meant to be drawn from the side, where as a long sword can be drawn from anywhere.

Next, I'd like to talk about the actual ammunition as well as the blades of the swords. What exactly do you mean when you say they're laced with holy water? You can't really lace a bullet with anything, considering some sort of liquid would just evaporate when shot. Does he dip these swords in holy water before he uses them every day or something? If that's the case, it sounds like they'd have rusted by now.

Your personality doesn't tell us anything about him outside of how he feels about heretics and music, really. Give us some detail on how he interacts with other Iscariots, Maxwell, stuff like that.

And here's the bio. First off, why do Russians have crusader weapons? Not only were they not even a Christian country during the majority of the wars, they were attacked themselves sometimes for converting to largely Eastern Orthodox (which, as usual, the Catholics considered to be heretics).

Next, how does he manage to hitchhike to Rome while carrying a bunch of armor and swords? I don't know about you, but if I see some guy hauling a bunch of armor with his thumb out, I'm NOT stopping to pick him up. I don't get it.

The part about Anderson randomly accepting him into the Orphanage after he showed up on the doorstep is...perfectly fine. But the part about turning into a regenerator at 18 isn't. Not just anyone can survive the procedure, so there's that, but you're also adding on that he's just a kid. He has to be at least a few years older for that to happen to him.

Alright, so he bought some stuff from a German guy. What's so special about the sword if he just had it reforged and whatnot after he got home? Also, I thought that was passed down in his family.

Okay, that last part really threw me for a loop. I...don't really understand what happened there. So he fights a bunch of vampires, gets his eye scratched (which, since he's a regenerator, should have just healed up), then forced to be their slave, then breaks out and somehow gets all his shit back and kills them all. Am I getting all this? I don't really understand how someone with 2 guns, 2 swords, and has the power to regenerate from nearly anything can lose to a bunch of low level vampires, even if there is a bunch of them. But let's put that aside; I really don't understand what this story is there for. Maybe I'm over thinking this all, but I'm just trying to process what this story adds to your character.

I'm usually not too picky about RP samples, but this was...I'll just explain. Alright, so he's slaughtering a bunch of random vampires. That's cool. There's an extreme lack of detail here though, basically meaning your story can be summed up to, "I ran up to a bunch of guys, shot them, then cut them in half." Also, where did the horse come from? It's very possible I missed that, but I don't remember hearing mention of one. Next, we have him killing some ghouls where you throw a katana. Not only is that a terrible idea, due to the high chance of damage to the sword, but it's no where near balanced in a way to be thrown. It's not that kind of weapon.

Not to be rude, but your bio and especially your RP samples concerns me, in the sense that I don't know if you have enough control over grammar to be able to RP here. I had a tough time reading your sheet, and a nearly impossible time reading your RP sample. Please take the time to check for grammar errors before you post things, as it makes it very difficult for people to read.
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PostSubject: Re: Father Olsta Makorav (WIP)   Sat Oct 01, 2011 5:50 pm

I thought that myself XD anyway I shall make the changes
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PostSubject: Re: Father Olsta Makorav (WIP)   Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:38 pm

Since it's been over a month since you did anything to this, I'm moving it to disapproval. If you want it back out, I'll get it for you.
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