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 Winter With the Police!

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PostSubject: Winter With the Police!   Fri Jun 10, 2011 12:46 pm

Name: Miss Winter

Age:
20

Gender: Female

Physical appearance:
Height: 5.1, Weight: 110, Eyes: Dark blue with a light blue rimming, Hair: Winter has very light blond hair that reaches two inches under her shoulders. It is slightly curling and has cut bangs right over her dark blue eyes, Skin: Winter has very light porcelain skin with no moles anywhere. Body type: Curvy, some leg and stomach muscles but not to broad, just small and casual. Her beast are just a little smaller than normal girls and her ribcage is also a bit small.

Clothing of choice: She is an under cover sniper so normally wares casual skinny jeans, and a white button up shirt with short black heals. Her clothing may vary.

Summer: http://www.polyvore.com/sunny/set?id=26415326

Fall: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=26417528

Winter: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=26434477


Weaponry of choice: A Beretta which she has illegally as well as two hand guns. Her pistol http://picturearchive.auctionarms.com/4281190121/8275845/c32a78d7688d500ad9b037430aedd326.jpg and her handgun http://meeble.com/ebay/SIG.jpg

Race: Human

Abilities: Winter may shock someone by her strength. She is rather flexible, strong for such a small thing and rather fast. She could shoot someone in the knee caps from a good 300 feet away and perhaps more. Her arms are weak however.

Organization: Winter Works for the downtown Police and time to time has helped the FBI. She travels often to help organizations out across the US but lives Happily in NewYork.

Personality: Winter is sweet, soft spoken, shy, and rather naive. She does not know any of the slang words, can never tell when someone is flirting with her and is scared of spiders, the dark, weird sounds and blood. She can even go into a small panic attack where she starts to hyperventilate. However she is strong willed and would never back down despite the odds if ordered to do something. First comes her Family, then helping those who might need her then orders. She takes things very seriously and will fight until the bitter end.


Rank: unaffiliated

Biography: Winter lived with both her parents in their estate in the UK. However when Winter was six her mother was killed by some kind of gang. Winter knew little of it but whatever the gang was it scared her dad so they moved to the America's. Winter always knew there was more to the story than told but when her father died only 12 year later Winter never got the answer she wanted. She was left with the house and the huge account, however this was not what Winter wanted.

She wanted to do more with life all together, so she sold the house, put the money in a family bond and joined the police where she worked hard to become good at her job to help stop the violence. She started off just pulling people over, then stopping small drug deals, then gangs, now works as a highly payed sniper under the police and FBI. She is short and sweet so being an under cover cop is easy. Who would suspect the short blond in her blue truck to be a cop? No one, and so her job is rather fulfilling. However, secretly Winter feels a bit lonely and wants some friends and maybe a family someday.

RP sample: Winter's dark blue eyes peaked out of the tented window of her old blue truck. Yes she had the money to buy a new fancy one but really why wants one of those things? You always have to have it cleaned, keep track of it and frankly Winter forgets her keys time to time in the car. The night was cold dark and crisp and now a sound was heard other than the small muffle of the town either asleep or getting close to it. It was about 1am and Winter wondered why men would stay up so late. Did they think that the police just left the town at night?

Really how silly of them to think such a thing! Winter did not care for the dark but this is when the gangs and drug dealers came out; at night. Oh well what could you do right? Her truck was parked casually by the sidewalk on the other side of the road watching an old building that was one a paper factory. The woman lightly jumped when her walky talky buzzed.

"zzzzd..Winter..you there?" Winter took the walky talking and held it up to her plump pink lips.

"Yes Sir...should I go in?"

"Well I don't know..is it clear? I'm not there Winter..I cant tell you when is a good time can I?"

"Oh I'm sorry! Yes it's clear! I will go in right away and stop those...those..erm..bad..people"

"For the love of God at least TALK like a cop! And STOP saying sorry! It pisses me off."

"Oh! Okay!..Yes sir! Sorry-..I mean okay!..sorry! Sorry!"

".......Just...hurry up okay? and try to avoid killing anyone..but no one can get away this time..like when the spider landed on you"

"BUT THE SPIDER WAS HUGE!"

"JUST GO INSIDE AND DO YOUR JOB WINTER!"

"I'm sorry! I mean...I'M NOT SORRY!....I..erm..Okay bye!" Winter clicked off her walky talky before pulling on her bullet proof vest that had been waiting for her under the seat. Once she got her vest on she put her two hand guns into their holsters and her sniper in the holster behind her back. Winter then pulled a black hoody over it all and slid out of her warm car and into the cold night air. What a lovely night...for a good fight.
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Join date : 2009-09-13
Age : 29
Location : Austin, TX

Character Sheet
Current Active Characters: Alucard
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PostSubject: Re: Winter With the Police!   Fri Jun 10, 2011 5:04 pm

hmm well since this is a human the abilities are easy to judge and difficult to create. I want you to elaborate on her abilities really give us an example of her strength and flexibility and how she obtained that in the biography. I would also like to see a small battle post in the sample, and a little larger bio, other than that seems like a modest character. And her current occupation leaves me with an possible idea.... anyways I will approve when my expectations are met.
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PostSubject: Re: Winter With the Police!   Fri Jun 10, 2011 5:18 pm

Okay I will do my best!..and what is that..idea? ><
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PostSubject: Re: Winter With the Police!   Fri Jun 17, 2011 3:42 pm

Okay. There were some good things and some bad things about this app and so I highlighted some of the things that I would like to see as well as things that you did good on. If you make these few changes, I will approve this character.

I agree with Saxon on the abilities part. I would like to see the appearance section in a well written paragraph. The detail is pretty good and it is more of just a formatting thing for me but otherwise is a rather decent description. For the clothing, please add a little more detail to it. I appreciate the pictures but I would like to know a bit more about how she wears it and if there is anything unique about it (tears, emblems, the like).

The same goes for the weapons. While I have a decent idea about the firepower behind a Baretta, I want to know more about any kind of special changes that were made to it such as scopes, extended magazines, etc.

For the biography, I would like to see at least another paragraph. You said that she illegally obtained the gun. Tell me a bit more about that as well. Was that a phase of hers or did she just do it for that one weapon? Finally, with the RP Sample, it typically needs to be a bit longer and there needs to be a battlle sample as well. You have a lot of dialog which is nice but not a lot of description to the surrounding or the other characters.
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PostSubject: Re: Winter With the Police!   Tue Jul 05, 2011 12:58 am

This character profile appears to have been deleted so this will moved to the disapproved section.
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